For All The Days of My Life

On Saturday, October 18th, I will marry Quibbit. We will join our lives together, we will join our names together, we will join our hopes together ... we will join our journeys together. We will take the best of who we were before and strive to be even better ... for each other.

Quibbit ... you make me happier than I ever thought I could be.

You are my heart.
You are my love.
You are my home ...

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts.
Rest assured this troubador is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits here has caused Him to remain,
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name,
There is love. There is love.

Oh, a man shall leave his mother, and a woman leave her home.
They will travel on to where the two will be as one.
As it was in the beginning, is now until the end,
Woman draws her life from man
And gives it back again and there is love.
Oh, there's love.

Well then what's to be the reason for becoming man and wife?
Is it love that brings you here or love that brings you life?
For if loving is the answer then who's the giving for?
Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?
Oh, there's love. There is love.

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts.
Rest assured this troubador is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits here has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
there is love. Oh, there is love.

THERE IS LOVE (Paul Stookey)

- Wedding Song -

Not In So Many Words ...

CIRCUMLOCUTION \sir-kuhm-loh-KYOO-shuhn\, noun: The use of many words to express an idea that might be expressed by few.

I have been accused of circumlocution virtually since the day I started speaking. If you flip through the pages of my life and stop at almost any day, you'll find a conversation like this one going on:

Random Teen from the Past: Luvviepuffaroo and I are going to a party tonight. Wanna come?
GoldenBoy: I might as well ... I'm only going to have to hear all the stories about it later, and it will take less of my time I just go along now.

Flip further:
Luvviepuffaroo: Well, you know, I could just take an umbrella ... it probably won't rain but I'm thinking that at least if I have one with me, then if it rains I'll be dry, as opposed to NOT carrying it around and then being caught in the rain, WISHING I'd carried it around and thinking the whole time that if only I'd taken the umbrella I'd have a much better chance of being dry. I mean, ultimately I'd much rather do something and be on the safe side, than NOT do something and run the risk of being really upset by it later ..."
Random 20something Friend From the Past: OR, "Better safe than sorry ..."

GoldenBoy STILL delights in doing this to me on the phone ... I'm not QUITE as verbose as the paragraph above, but he still is able to distill my ramblings down to just a few words. (And points it out EVERY TIME. "I did it again! I did it again!") What can I say? I like to talk.

Nothing proved my circumlocution-ness more, however, than recently when I was putting the final touches on my Great American Novel. After thinking it was finished around 14 years ago I sent it out to literary agents with high hopes, only to get one rejection letter after another. After another. After another. (Repeat this phrase another 243 times ...) It got so I wasn't able to open my mailbox anymore without seeing the dreaded flurry of little SASEs tumbling toward me, all rejection letters from Agent X telling me they just didn't think my big book o' words was marketable. I put the manuscript away in a drawer and tried to forget about it. All 145,000 words of it.

To be clear: word count in the publishing world is like dress size in the modeling world. Same equation: lower number equals more marketable. Things would have started differently for JK Rowlings if Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone hadn't skootched by at just under 80,000 words -- 76,944 to be exact. Only when the crowd was clamoring for more could she (and her publishing house) feel confident about something that weighed in at 198,227 words (as The Deathly Hallows did). Agents balk at hefty books the way Janice Dickinson balks at hefty models. As in: Good ones exist, they just don't get through the machine as easily.

Years later I decided to give it another shot. I took my "finished" novel and presented it to my writing group. One hearty soul, the one man in the group, took the time to read the whole thing. His criticism was harsh, but fair ... great story, not so great writing. (Hey, I'd accused Stephen King of this my whole life ... ). It was salvageable, he said, it just had to be completely rewritten and heavily edited.

I decided to give it a shot. After all ... 14 years HAD gone by ... my writing had gotten better ... and I wasn't in such desperate need to prove how smart I was anymore. I cut out pages and pages of characters having long, boring existential conversations that did nothing to move the plot forward. I tightened, punched up and textured until one day last month, like a Sculptor, I knew it was finished because there was nothing else to take away.

It now weighs in at a very slimming 110,000 words. That's THIRTY FIVE THOUSAND NON-ESSENTIAL WORDS ... gone. And never missed. Amazing.

So, the question is, after all that -- is it a good book? I've had a few friends read it (or parts of it) over the years, and always got relatively good feedback. That's what friends do ... they cheerleader their way through your small successes. It's hard to know. There's one reader, though, who I choose to believe over all the others. Random Subway Chick.

Years ago, I'd given a first draft to my dad and he read it on his daily commute. One day, without him knowing it, a girl had been reading over his shoulder. When he put it away she tapped his arm ... "Excuse me," she said, "What's that your reading?"
Dad: It's a novel my daughter's written.
Random Subway Chick: Wow! Is it published? I'd love to buy it! I've been reading it over your shoulder and I can't wait to see what happens next!

I think about Random Subway Chick a lot. Because New York is FILLED with random subway chicks ... and they're my target audience. Along with any other person who's facing a long train ride, bus ride, plane ride, and wants to dig their teeth into a good story that will make the commute fly by. As well as any person who likes to stay up late into the night reading just one more chapter ... And any person who's not looking for a cookie cutter story with a happy ending. So ... if that's you ... stay tuned. I promise, you'll enjoy every single word.

You Want Lettuce and Tomato On That?

Boy oh boy ... how I love a good sandwich. I know they're the worst things for you. I know they're full of bleached flour, processed meats, gloppy condiments, fats, salt and nitrates. I know that. What's your point? You are what you eat so I am a big ole sandwich. When I die you can wrap me in some wax paper, bury me in one of those little deli containers and put me on that great conveyor belt to the sky.

Quibbit likes them too, but he is the King of the Dagwood Sandwich. Early on in our relationship I'd asked him what ingredients would he combine to make his favorite burger. By way of example, I created mine for him: English Muffin bun, a big juicy burger seasoned with basil, slathered in Hellman's Mayonnaise and Frank's Red Hot Sauce ... some sauteed onions and thick cut apple smoked bacon on the top. Yum.

He responded by building his for me: bottom bun, mayonnaise, avocado and onions, honey mustard, all beef patty, cheddar cheese, ranch dressing, Doritos, sauteed lettuce and cabbage with garlic, 2nd all beef patty, Swiss cheese, ketchup, more mayonnaise, slice of lettuce and top bun.

Of course I've watch him eat things that make the above look tame. I've learned not to ask what he's jamming between two overtaxed slices of bread. If it crunches I just assume it's the Doritos. Or pretzel sticks. Or peanuts. Or saltines. Or granola. Or sunflower seeds. Or wasbi peas. One time it was trail mix.

A few years ago I caught a great documentary on PBS called Sandwiches That You Will Like (which is a little like calling your clothing line Dresses That You Will Wear). It does a great job of traveling across America and showing how the definition of a sandwich changes with the landscape. I love hearing people, full of conviction, talking about their city's sandwich and why it's the best, not like any other Blah and Blah Sandwiches from any other place in the whole US of A! It reminded me of the time my friend's cousin came back from Italy praising the corner markets and the plethora of prosciutto and provolone sandwiches. "It's so common ... like getting a ham and cheese in America". We laughed our butts off at that. Um, maybe because prosciutto and provolone IS ham and cheese.

Anyway, I love this show -- I've seen it twice and I'm thinking of buying the DVD (or accepting it as a Christmas present). What makes the show so special is not that it's a program about food ... though that's part of it. No, what makes it great is that it's a program about people and their relationship to food; it's about tradition, habits, customs, comfort. It's about folks reveling in the fact that in their little corner of the world, this is how it's done:


This is the kind of program that makes you want to grab your map, get in the car, and just drive across America seeking these places out. Luckily, I actually have been to a few of these fine establishments and when time allows, I intend to visit a few more. For now, here are the 3 I sampled:

Living in New York you can't escape the siren song of a good Pastrami Sandwich. And what better place to get one than at Katz's Delicatessen ... a New York tradition for over a hundred years. Quibbit and I just went there recently and almost died (happily) of a meat overdose. He got the Corned Beef Sandwich and I got the pastrami ... between the 2 of us I think we were able to eat 2/5th ... we had to take the rest home. And we both kept on eating corned beef, pastrami and rye bread for another two days! I repeat ... You are what you eat!

I've also been lucky enough to sample authentic Philly Cheese Steak Sandwiches when a friend of mine took me back to her home town. It was really cold the weekend we were there, and we spent a long time shivering on line waiting to order our sandwiches, staring across the street at the OTHER long line of people waiting to get THEIR sandwiches. The first day we went to Geno's, the second day to Pat's. I liked one better than the other but can't remember which ... so I guess when I go back I'll have to do another taste test. I'll have to go again with a local, because even though there were big signs everywhere explaining how to order, I still made my friend order for me because I was too intimidated. Yes ... I. Was. Too. Intimidated. Huh.

When another friend and I were kicking around in New Orleans, I was thrilled when we stumbled upon Central Grocery ...

... which I knew all about from the program. We immediately went in and purchased the most wonderful Muffuletta Sandwich I'd every had. (Truth be told, I'd only had one once before at some wannabe New Orleans bar in Manhattan where the drinks are watered down, the food is tasteless and badly fried and the Muffuletta Sandwich is lousy). But here was the real thing! We couldn't wait to dig in! We shared one ... it was that big ... and even had leftovers for later. Next to the drinking-all-day-and-night-in-the-street thing and the super hot jazz and the man who tried to take my friend and me home with him to "let nature take its course" (an offer we refused, but a story we gleefully repeated), this Muffuletta Sandwich was the best part of our trip.

So, hopefully, Quibbit and I will get around to Kentucky one day in order to sample a Hot Brown Sandwich ... and then maybe we'll take another trip to Maine and get a Lobster Roll from Red's Eats. Heck, I'd even try and get to Domilise's for a fried oyster Po'Boy. (Hey, did you even WATCH the clip up there?) But I can tell you right now ... as far as the Fried Brain Sandwich goes ... I'll let Quibbit tackle that one alone.

For close to 3,000 more ways to make a sandwich, try this website.