I Will Collect You and Capture You

If my life were a drinking game everyone would have to drink whenever I said "I'm completely obsessed with…". And my oh my, what a drunk little crowd you'd all be! I'm completely obsessed with being obsessed. (Go 'head ... drink!)

I even worn Calvin Klein's Obsession for a bit, then quickly moved on to Contradiction and have settled in to a nice relationship with Truth (Discontinued at perfume counters but still available at perfume warehouses. Always nice at Christmas. And my milestone birthday is coming up ...) with a splash of CK One and CK Be thrown in there sometimes. And I've been wearing Euphoria lately, ever since Ookanuba came to my house smelling like the best smell I ever smelled. It doesn't smell like that on me. Damn her and her conductive body chemistry! So I'm also obsessed with Calvin Klein perfumes.

Being an only child and then a single woman who (up until 2.5 years ago) never had a man around for more than 2 days consecutively gave me a lot of time to give into these things. Here's a short list of things I have been obsessed with in the last 30 or so years … Trust me, there's a redeeming ending to the blather so enjoy the ride till the Public Service Announcement kicks in.

This commercial and this one, and this parody which spawned a 20 year loop between me and Goldenboy that's in no signs of stopping.

Mae West (which started at the age of 4 and resurges every few years when her movies get transferred to DVD or another book gets published about her).

Random Movies

I watched All That Jazz so many times in a row that I actually broke the VCR tape. I watched Truth or Dare so many times that I could repeat every unscripted line that was uttered and had long discussions with my friends about whether or not Madonna showered that one time after she got off stage or if she just had her makeup reapplied. And whether she every REALLY got that letter from her friend asking Madonna to be godmother to her unplanned child.

Books

John Irving's Cider House Rules, Pearl S. Buck's Pavilion of Women , Sheila Ballantyne's Imaginary Crimes, Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House, Nancy Winters' The Girl on the Coca Cola Tray, Margaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind, Gore Vidal's Myra Breckenridge … all read at least 4 times each, in some cases started over again right after I read the last page ...

Stephen Sondheim
See Sweeney Todd post ... and every other post. He's in there. Like the way spinach is in a brownie baked by Jessica Seinfeld. I may not have mentioned him by name, but he's the puree baked into every bite of Luvviepuffaroo's food. He's the main ingredient. He's the whole freakin' souffle!

Salad Toppins

I created the ultimate sandwich recipe based on my love of them. It is as follows:

1. take some bread (your choice – I don't care)
2. take some filling (your choice – still don't care)
3. spread on some type of condiment (your choice – just choose something)
   
4. sprinkle liberally with Salad Toppins
5. top off with Frank's Red Hot Sauce

I have done this with every combination of bread, meat and condiment I could think of so far and trust me … it's a hit every time. EVERY TIME.

I have been obsessed with lists:

Names I'd never NEVER name my child: Abigail, Blanche, Cora, Deidre, Ernabelle

Movies Titles that are just first and last names: Annie Hall, Barton Fink, Dolores Claiborne, Erin Brockovitch, Mary Reilly, Donnie Brasco, Ed Wood, Stella Dallas, Michael Clayton

Movie Titles that are only first names: Anastasia, Carrie, Harvey, Rebecca, Marny, Marty, Rocky, Rambo, Christine

Funny Names that sound like phrases: Helen Back, Paige Turner, Ben Dover, Wendy Winblows

But my most useful obsession (what … these aren't useful?) is recycling.

I'll recycle anything. If it's glass, paper, plastic, or aluminum I'll wash it out and put it in the little waiting room I've designed for it (what your people call "a bag") before it goes on to that great Recycling Train in the sky (um ... garbage truck). Little glass bottle filled with foundation? Recycle! Trial sized shampoo bottle? Recycle! Magazine blow-in cards? RECYCLE! The ritual I have for paper alone is enough to take up a whole Saturday morning.

But I'll also recycle other things ---

I donate, I pass along, I leave outside, and I swap. Just recently I help organize an afternoon at the New York Cares warehouse where I and 12 of my co-workers sorted some of the hundreds of thousands of donated coats that were waiting to be distributed to needy New Yorkers.

But wait! There's more ... If you know nothing about it I highly recommend you check out Swap-O-Rama-Rama which is probably the coolest way to get new clothes and clean out your closet at the same time. People are surprisingly generous with their quality items too … Everything isn't so much old or out dated as much as something the owner outgrew or got bored of. I was a sorter at the one in Williamsburg where one man came with a huge amount of stuff his father had bought before he died … great shirts and ties and even socks, all unused and all in Quibbit's size (very fortuitous … my baby is a tall man!) SCORE! Quibbit got an entire work wardrobe that day and I got a fuzzy warm feeling in my closet.

Probably the best part of all of it is that whatever is left over is donated to local shelters so nothing goes to waste. There's always a swap happening somewhere near you, so watch the skies and wait to see when that Swap-O-Rama-Rama bird flies over a warehouse near you! You'll be glad you did!

In the meantime, pardon me while I go recycle some coffee cans ...