Meet Floyd. Floyd is my wonderful English Bulldog who I've had since my early 30s. Floyd is a lovable big boo boo of a dog who is a great cuddler and loves watching TV with me ... specifically old HOUSE re-runs and anything that has Alyssa Milano in it. This includes Dinotopia: Quest for the Ruby Sunstone where she does the voice of 26. Now, you may wonder how Floyd knows that an animated dinosaur and Alyssa Milano have the same voice. Yes, you may wonder. I'll tell you ... Floyd is one smart dog.
So smart that he can add items and bark out the answer. Like, if you have two tuna cans on the table and go to the cabinet and grab two cans of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup because you're going to make Tuna Noodle Casserole that night, and you say "Floyd! How many cans of stuff does it take to make Tuna Noodle Casserole?" Floyd will bark four times. Two for the Tuna and Two for the Soup. See? Smart.
This is Molly. Quibbit brought Molly into the family, she was his dog for many years. Molly is just a luvviebump ... she can't see too well so she's always bumping into things and it's really kinda cute. When I come home from work sometimes the door whaps her right in the head, so I've learned to open the door slowly. Molly's also a little lazy.
Take that same door ... say she's standing in front of it and just thinking one of her little bull dog thoughts. If I'm coming home, I open the door slowly and then suddenly find that I'm pushing her along ... because she won't really get out of the way. Because she's busy thinking some cute bulldog thought and I've interrupted her.
Molly's not so good with math ... not even tuna noodle casserole math. Say Floyd is over there barking 4 times to show he knows 2 plus 2. Molly will join right in, but then just not stop. She will bark and bark and bark and even when you say "Molly! That's enough of that!" she will keep barking. She will usually stop if I put an old tennis ball in her mouth. When I don't have one handy I give her a jelly doughnut.
Finally, this is Butters!. Quibbit and I just got Butters! the other day. She is our first dog together. Contrary to what you might be thinking, she is not named after Butters from Southpark. Her name is also not a derogatory remark short for Butterface. For, as you can see, her face is adorable. Rather, her name is a reference to Fazekas / Butters - the people responsible for the TV show Reaper. Similarly her name is not pronounced "Butters" but rather "Butters!" with the "TT"s being soften to almost "DD"s and the whole name being forced out of your mouth in one big shout of joy. BUTTERS! Some find it as difficult to pronounce the exclamation at the end of her name as everyone but the Germans find it to pronounce umlauts.
Now, you may wonder how a bizzy gal such as myself can take care of three adorable dogs. You may also wonder how I was able to squoosh them into my tiny 500 square foot palace.
Simple.
They're pretend dogs. Duh! I don't have any dogs! Gosh, if actual people are spending actual money on these dolls that look like real babies, the least you can let me do is tell a few stories about my fake dogs, huh?
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