Overheard on the Street - Self Medicating

Guy: I've been taking so much medicine ... I've been prescribing it to myself.  It's enough to rise someone from a heart attack.

Girl: How you know how to prescribe stuff?

Guy: I looked it up in my pre-med book.

Girl: What you been prescribing?

Guy: Tylenol.

Girl: Wow.  I been on Claritin and Robitussin all week long.

Guy: What!  You kidding me?  You could die of an overdose!

Girl: Really?  Oh no!

Me (under my breath): You're just jealous that she may rise someone from a heart attack.