So tonight Quibbit and I were happily watching the first season of LOST on iTunes. We're around 3 episodes from the season finale and yes, yes, I know, that's THREE SEASONS behind everyone else but I had some problems picking it up mid-season back then (What ... as if I'm the only one?) and then just decided it was too much trouble than it was worth. Which of course is not true. Thanks to iTunes I was able to catch up, albeit slowly. I'm sure the traumas that occur during Season 1 pale in comparison to all the other stuff that happens later, but just try and remember how you felt way back in 2004. Pretty nail biting stuff ...
So there we are, engrossed, hardly able to focus on anything but the show ... Until ....
All of a sudden out of the pitch black darkness I felt what seemed to be a wad of paper thrown at me. I immediately flung it off, jumped up screaming, and scared Quibbit half to death.
We looked everywhere, but couldn't find a logical thing that it could have been.
Luvvie: You don't understand! It was like a giant spitball thrown at me!
Quibbit: Well, let's find it ...
Luvvie: Where did it come from?
Quibbit: I have no idea.
Luvvie: Do you think it was a ghost?
Quibbit: One can only hope ...
Well this went on for a bit ... we found a wadded up tissue across the room ... yeah, maybe that could have been it ... but who threw it at me? (Cue scary music ...) Could it have been that French Woman? No, dammit! Focus! This isn't the Island!
Quibbit decided to go investigate in another part of the apartment. Not that there are many "parts" to the apartment. More like different angles to the apartment.
Quibbit: Oh ... okay ... I think I see what it was.
Luvvie: A bug?
Quibbit: Yes. Quite a big one. If you don't want to get upset, don't look over there ...
So I look (of course) "over there" and I see, on the wall, the Biggest Damn Bug I've ever seen and I run to the other side of the room, but I can still see it. Like, it was THAT BIG.
Due to my enormous fear of bugs, a few years ago for Christmas Quibbit got me (among other things) this bug zapper which I always likened to having a gun in the house. As in: I felt much safer having it around but dreaded the time I'd have to actually use it.
So of course, tonight was that night.
Quibbit got the bug zapper and after a few failed attempts finally caught it in the trap, but it was SO huge that it wouldn't sink down to the zapper part and get itself fried. So the device was, at this point, just a bug TRAPPER. Which is fine, of course, unless you're me and living with an insane fear of bugs because then all you can imagine is that even though the trap door only goes one way and the bug has no way whatsoever of getting out, this bug will buck all odds, get loose, and (now mad at you) come and do what bugs do to human beings. (I don't think we fully know the extent of what that is yet. But I'm always fearful that one day we'll find out. And boy will we regret it ...)
So since it was just trapped in the little tube, Quibbit had a chance to examine it. "Do me a favor and Google Cicada" he told me ... and I did, and described the picture to him and he said that's what it was that he had, trapped in the bug zapper.
Now, I have plenty of friends who live in Florida who will tell me they see these awful creatures all the time, and that's great, Friends In Florida, I'm happy for you. And you've learned to live with them the way I've learned to watch, mildly amused, as subway rats scurry onto the subway platform (yes, folks, high above the tracks ...) as I wait for the #2 train. I mean, I wouldn't want them any closer than the 5 meters I've put between us, but I'm not exactly sobbing with fear either. However, Cicadas aren't (as far as I know) native to New York and I've never actually seen one in person before. Let alone have one into my home. They're like vampires! You don't invite them in!
Anyway, while Quibbit was waiting patiently for the Cicada to make his way down the tube into the electric chamber I had some time to further research them. So I scanned the Wikipedia entry which gave more information than I wanted to know ... as well as a little sound file which immediately gave me the creeps.
But then delving further on the topic, I also find this little gem. What? Are you kidding me? Seriously? Who in their right mind would name a restaurant after a Damn Giant Bug? I mean, why don't you just name your place Roach Infested or Rat Droppings or Closed Because of Health Code Violations? Granted, the place looks absolutely fabulous, and I'm sure many people have eaten there and had a fantastic time, but I stand by my original thought. And I would suggest that when there, no one order the Quail ... because traditionally Quail don't have the wingspan of a Beechcraft. But I know a little something that does ...
Anyway, at some point the Cicada managed to accept the unavoidable (I'd like to think with a brave look on his face) and went toward the zapper part of the tube while I hummed Taps. Quibbit waited a few more minutes before giving it a proper burial at sea. The rest of the night was spent a bit less frantic but no less nerve wracking ... I mean, there's an unopenable hatch in the middle of the jungle! I just hope it's not filled with Giant Bugs.
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