Operator!

Oh no!  My Something Or Other from XYZ Company isn't working!  I better call them right away and straighten this out!

Luvvie: [dialing] Oh, so happy there's a customer service number. This will be solved in no time!

Robot:  Hello, and welcome to the XYZ Company.  Our menu has changed recently so please listen carefully to all options.  Para Espanol, press ZERO. To buy another Something Or Other, press or say ONE.  To find out about our new and improved Something Or Other, press or say SEVEN.  If you are calling from out of state, press or say TWO.  To hear this menu again at any time, press pound.  Wait, we're not done ...  To learn the history of our company, press or say FIVE.  To find the nearest store in your area, press or say THREE.  To speak to a customer representative, press or say EIGHT.

Luvvie:  Yay!  Finally! [pressing eight] Just a few more seconds now!

Robot: [Pretending to be human]  Okay.  Before we begin I'll need some information from you. Press or say the fourteen digit account code so I can locate your records.    

Luvvie: Wait ... I only see five numbers in my account.  Where are the other eleven?

Robot: I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you said.  Could you repeat the number?

Luvvie: I didn't say any number yet.

Robot: Okay, I think I'm going to need a little more information.  If you're calling from your home phone, please say "yes".

Luvvie: [to herself]  Ha!  I can outsmart this dang computer.  I'll press "0" for operator till I get a human being!

Robot: I'm sorry, I don't understand what you said.  If you're calling from your home phone ...

Luvvie:  [pressing frantically] zero ... zero ... zero ... [faster] zero zero zero zero zero zero zero [and faster] zerozerozerozero Dang why won't this work!  Operator!  Operator!!

Well, I'll tell you why it won't work.   Because companies have caught on to your little operator trick and have made it difficult to get a human on the phone that easily.  That's not to say that pressing zero repeatedly, faster and faster won't work for SOME companies, but for others, getting a human on the phone involves a tricky combination of numbers, pound signs and, in some cases, sneaky silence.   

But how do you know what diabolical combinations will work?  Hit 'em all and pray you get lucky?  Nah ... never that. Now you can go here and find out all the right combinations to press, the right words to say ... basically just the quickest way of getting a real human being on the phone.  Scroll down a bit on their website and find most every trick to most every company you'll ever need to call.  Poor "Emily" from Bell Canada.  She won't know what hit her.

Just another little helpful tip brought to you by Luvviepuffaroo.  You're welcome.